• The relationship you have with your child is for life—why not make it the best you can?
• Secrets For Mothers Who Struggle is written for parents, and grandparents, of teens and pre-teens. • Offers a 12-step program for parents who are facing the reality that their children have gone beyond cute, and they are now actually quite confronting and challenging. • NZ author, Jane Francis, is a certified coach, has a degree in psychology and is the mother of four. Jane bookQ&A with Jane Francis, author of SECRETS FOR MOTHERS WHO STRUGGLE
What makes this parenting book different?
We live in a world that markets quick transformations yet some parents face problems that are not going to be solved overnight. The intention behind Secrets For Mothers Who Struggle is to offer comfort and hope. If you are struggling it is the kind of book in which you will find private solace. The central premise of this book is you can be an influencer, guardian and cheerleader in your child’s life but you cannot live their life for them. If you are feeling stressed by your child’s behavior, attitude and choices, you need to learn to put on your own oxygen mask first, and control your own thoughts and reactions.
What made you write Secrets For Mothers Who Struggle?
Firstly anger, then compassion. In my own family, I have fought internet usage, gaming, social media, cars, parties, apathy, teenage rebellion—and all that happened was I wore myself out. I have studied psychology and have 30 year’s business experience and what irked me most was seeing how business, marketing, and other outside forces have as much, if not more, influence on our children than we do. The compassion comes from the pain I experienced, and seeing others struggling the same way. We live in a competitive world in which many parents are pretending things are okay even when they are not. I wanted to help parents see the influences at play and the techniques they can use to improve their own quality of life as they raise their children to become young adults.
Can you sum up your main message?
1. Be mindful of your expectations, life values and thoughts. There is a lot of great parenting advice available but there is no one-size-fits-all answer. The biggest secret is your situation is unique—look inside yourself—you have to find your own answers. 2. Stay connected. Keep the lines of communication open and use contracts to ensure your message is clear. 3. Trust: Trust in yourself. Trust in love. Trust it will all turn out for the best.
